To Us, This Is A Truthful Tragedy

I know everyone's sulking over the fact that half-term is over, and truth be told, I'm bummed out of my mind trying to figure out how the ten days went by so fast. Damn it, it was a good half-term.

So many things happened.Urggh, I don't even know where to start.

I went to Cardiff for my cousin's 22nd birthday bash. That was awesome. Made some new friends, and had some crazy moments that was unforgettable. Hahaha. Mel, if you're reading this, thanks for inviting me :D And wow, Eric. I know you're not gonna read this, so god damn you, you lucky bastard :P

The next day we had to go to the Dorchester hotel for the BSUnion Raya thing, which wasn't too bad. I won a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates for answering the quiz, which got wiped clean before I even got on the bus.

Deylah and Desiree were two people I spent much more time together than I would have thought. Never mind they called me Mu Mu (huh?) most of the time. Hahaha. We stayed up late doing practically nothing telling each other we should go to sleep. That was stupid, I guess :P And oh, when Farah wasn't in London, Deylah was my Sainsbury companion. Hahahaha.

I'll post some pictures of half-term soon. Wait for it.

Signing out

Over and out

'Twas The Night Of Choruses

I'm pissed off. Ask me why I'm pissed off. Because we came second in house singing. Second to the fucking Grove. We were really the bomb. The part song was brilliant. The unison song was brilliant. We got the largest applause. Like Mr Vicars said, we were fucking robbed.

But getting second isn't that bad, I guess. Out of eleven houses, second is pretty impressive. Too bad I won't be there next year.

Off to London today. Nothing to look forward to, to be honest, except a week's rest. And oh, three English essays to do. Heh. So much for recreation and relaxation.

Signing out

Over and out

Ironies In Indefinite Intervals

She sees it. The swirl of colours, just above her, strokes of bold, primary tones. It is only a dream, she assures herself. Yet she has never felt anything so real before. The way the gust of wind just brush past her. The blinding explosion of colours. And the sheer confusion of it all.

This is one of those 'real' dreams, she says to herself. It is a dream. It must be.

What else can it be?

The ground shakes and trembles as suddenly a ball of light crashes onto the earth. The trees shiver in terror and the birds leave their nests in fright as more descended from the sky. The surface crumbles into pieces, cracks travelling from one end of the horizon to the other. The sky grew darker as the light fade and descend into destruction.

In horror she retreats under a fallen tree which has been overgrown with mushrooms. Cowering, she starts praying for her life, wishing to herself this is just a nightmare.

Now she waits for the chaos to stop. She waits and she waits, but the longer she does, the more violent the tremors become, and as the sky turns into complete darkness, she cries herself to sleep, the ground still shaking, and the light and the colours no longer there.

------------------------------------------

It's half-term. Well, almost. Still have two(-ish) kessons to go, and house-singing to go to. For unison we're doing four songs from Les Miserables, and for the part song we're doing Bohemian Rhapsody, which looks and sounds absolutely incredible. Our unison isn't bad either. The sheer energy and volume, and the pace of the piano and the urgency of the voices. I think we're in for a chance for top spot.

Tomorrow we're going to London. Looking forward to that. Looks like I'm not going to Manchester to see Capdown after all. Oh well. I didn't get a ticket for the Dorchester raya thing, and I'm quite pissed off. Well, not really, but just a little bit disappointed. One thing left to do is go to my cousin's 22nd birthday in Cardiff. That is if I still have enough dosh by then. Heh.

Signing out

Over and out

Underneath The Overwhelming Arching Skies

I'm in London for the weekend, and oh, for Raya. Even though I had fun the first day, I haven't exactly felt the 'true' spirit of this whole Raya thing. I don't think I've ever felt that.

Fuck it. At the end of the day I don't think it felt any different from any day, except that there's more people here, and everyone's dressed up, and there's free food. Not that the food applies to me. The food at the High Commission was all prepared for carnivores. Meat, chicken, mutton.. What can a vegetarian like me do beside wait till it's all over and go to Subway and get a veggie patty? Haha.

I think I might need to fall in love all over again. Haha. Ha. That's what I need to cheer myself up :P I've been sinking in and out of my nihilism more frequently at the moment. The only thing keeping me sane is the crazy things I get to do with my housemates night in and night out. Random, pointless things. It's ironic that to forget that life is pointless is by doing completely pointless acts of stupidity.

Irony is the word of my life. Irony and contradiction, to be exact. And sometimes incoherence. I often find myself being unable to articulate my thoughts, to words and writing. It's so fucking frustrating.

Signing out

Over and out

The Dead Live By Love

We went to Alton Towers yesterday. And by hell, it was awesome. Of course, let's be honest, some of the rides reminded me of Jerudong Park. Hahaha. But rides like Oblivion, Ripsaw and Air made the difference. And the sheer size of the place.

Aside from Ripsaw and Submission, I thought Disneyland had similar but better rides. Rita: Queen Of Speed was similar to Aerosmith Rock 'n Roll in that they started from a stand still to a big tub of speed, but Rock 'n Roll was longer, and it was dark and a lot more twists and turns. Oh well. I shouldn't really compare it to Disneyland. I had fun on them. I really did.

Adry, Mubin and Chiao also went with us on the same bus, but we didn't go on the rides together. I went with my own housemates, Loco, Fudge and Clive. We felt sorry for leaving Yang Lan with Lauitt, but really, if you know Lauitt, you don't want him following you around at Alton Towers where we're supposed to have fun.

Anyways, I gotta go.

Signing out

Over and out

P.S. The title is from an album from Mendeed

Other Lives In Separate Times

I watched ‘I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry’ last night. I half-expected this to be purely making fun of homosexuality, but I was pleasantly surprised. Instead it presented a strong stance against homophobia, and how gays are constantly being discriminated purely because of their sexuality.

If we are not treated with the prior knowledge of the two main characters, Chuck & Larry, are straight, then the two are really believable as gay partners. There is chemistry between the two, and even though most of it is rooted in their long-standing friendship, it makes a case of how two men can fall in love with each other.

As the movie develops, the characters develop. Sandler (Chuck) transitions from being a homophobic, sexist playboy to a sensitive, thoughtful supporter of gay rights. James (Larry) changes from the mournful widower who doesn’t appreciate his son’s artistic side to being ready to move on and acknowledge that there’s more to growing up than just doing sports. It’s endearing that Chuck’s children stand by his side, even when other kids call their dad(s) 'faggots.' Note: The accepted vernacular is gay.

The scene when Larry reads his colleagues’ petition for the both of them to be transferred was especially poignant. If the friends you thought you knew for years abandon you just because of your sexuality, then you’ve gotta wonder if they were your friends to start with.

Throughout the whole movie, we are reminded of how absurd it is for people to dictate how people should live their lives and how their sexual orientation should be. The movie takes a satirical view on the evangelists, who try to shove their beliefs on other people.

The movie aside, I am against the homophobic disease. We are so obsessed with being disgusted over somebody else’s sexual orientation, we forget that the person is a human being too. We overlook the fact that the person might be a better human being than us. Ask yourself, if your friend who you’ve known suddenly comes out and say that he/she has been gay all these years, what would you do?

If that happened to me, I would shrug it off, saying that it’s no big deal, and that we’re still friends, no matter what. If you know me, you would’ve probably seen me joking that I was gay. This is because I resent homophobia, and I want to see other people’s reaction to a homosexual friend. I’m not gay, but I need to know that my friends will stick with me, no matter what my beliefs are. I remember a friend confessing that she might be bisexual, and I thought it was brave of her. Even though she never embraced her lesbian side, the fact that she was willing to discuss if she was, was endearing to me.

Many guys are hypocrites when it comes to homosexuality. They say they despise gays, but trust me, they wouldn’t think twice of watching a lesbian flick.

Even if you think homosexuality is a sin, that doesn’t necessarily make the person evil or immoral. That’s just one aspect of their lives. How do you know the person hasn’t contributed much more to the community than you? And how stupid is it to assume that homosexuals are always horny? Just because a guy is into guys doesn’t mean he’s a pervert who would grab another guy’s arse at the first opportunity.

Anyways, if you’re using religion to argue against homosexuality, forget it. Religion is supposed to be a personal experience. Not a reason to dictate how other people live. Like what the Quran said, ‘your religion is your religion, my religion is mine.’ We are not supposed to shove what we believe down into other people’s throats.

And don’t argue that homosexuality is immoral. From what point of view is it immoral? From a religious point of view, yes. But not everyone subscribe to religion. To the society? How is it that one’s sexuality that doesn’t affect other people’s lives at all immoral? And besides, outside religion, morality is subject to one’s opinions. One might think that society over individuality is the better moral guideline, and vice versa. We cannot decisively argue that any of the two is superior over the other.

Unnatural? On what basis? The fact that there are two distinct genders? We didn’t use to wear clothes. Isn’t nakedness supposed to be natural? We didn’t ride cars or buses. Isn’t walking supposed to be natural? Homosexuality has been around for so long. If you dig into literature, you’ll find traces of homoeroticism. You’ll find it (although obscure) in history books, in ancient Greece and other civilisations.

I hope the government doesn't find this particular blog entry. I think it doesn't help that my blog is listed in Simpur's site. Oh well. This is my honest opinion. I don't think it's too controversial, and I know many Bruneians share the same feeling, even the straight ones.

Signing out

Over and out

The Fall Of Ideals & Idealism

This is, I guess, some kind of response to Fee's blog. The insignificance of the human race or the individual.

I think both of them are ultimately insignificant. The universe is so much bigger than us. But my previous entry focused on the insignificance of the human race, rather than the individual. Think about it. We are one species that has popped up, depending on who you believe, from evolution or creation. Yes, we as a race has caused global warming, and that's been affecting the whole world. But on the long term, once we're long gone and extinct, the Earth will recover itself and stabilise. The Earth has been doing this for a long time. What we're doing is really extinguishing our own species, and even though in the short term the Earth will suffer, in the long run (in the scale of millions of years), any future intelligent beings will not see the mark of our existence on their very own ecosystem. Not significantly, anyways.

Religion has never been the moral guide for me. The moral guide for me was myself. I mean if you think the only thing stopping you from killing the guy beside you is religion, you've got issues. And besides, nihilism (the acceptance of one's insignificance) has not been the major cause of the world's wars and crimes. It has been the desire to BE significant. The Crusades was partly due to signify Christianity as a religion. So were any kind of religious wars. The Iraqi War was caused by Saddam's desire for significance and the US's desire to signify themselves and insignify the government. Racism cannot be blamed on nihilism. Racism itself is the attitude of feeling more significant on another race.

I don't know if I'm being coherent. I'm afraid to read it from the start. Hahahaha. I'll post it up before I read it.

Signing out

Over and out