The Senseless Universe

Did you know that our world does not make sense? This was recently proved using a mathematical equation that is longer than Homer's Odyssey. This find is credited to Professor Bob Builder of the Department Of Trivial Research and Analysis at the University Of Oxford. He first thought of the equation while eating a chicken burger that incidentally was unwittingly processed using the same equation. The producers of course knew nothing about the significance of the equation, thinking it was only a way to calculate how proportional the texture of the chicken is to the overall happiness of the mate of the chicken.

Now the senseless nature of the world has been postulated, contemplated, theoreticised, speculated and noted on a napkin many times, but until recently scientists and botanists alike though no such equation exists. Builder claims that his equation though long and epic, can be understood by a celebrity chimpanzee because it is arithmetically simple. There are only 5 variables, only 4 dimensions are used, and 4,324 mathematical functions used.

In his book, 'The World Is Senseless So This Book Is Inevitably Nonsense,' he claimed that life is equally nonsense. This can easily be proven by the existence of wars, famine, evening soap operas and late trains. He also uses the Albert Argument, that if life made sense, then most of us would've already committee suicide by the age of ten. Builder also points out the Sense And Sensibility Paradox, that if life makes sense is a fact, then this fact is nonsense, thus contradicting itself. This would create a Reason Paradox Hole, that would make the whole universe implode. An imploding universe has not been observed, so life does not make sense.

There is also the issue of crocs. Builder suggests that the horrific nature of crocs is an abomination, that it makes no sense for the Universe to allow for them to exist.

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Signing out.

Over and out