Kreativ Kallousness

I got nominated by Mai. Honestly I don't know what is this Kreativ Award thing, but hey, I think it's harmless fun.

• the winner may put the logo on her/his blog
• put a link to the person you got the award from
• nominate 6 blogs
• put links to the blogs
• leave a message for your nominees

and the nominees are..
1) Fee (Cradle Of The Enlightened)
2) Zayn Sabri (My Skeptical Views)
3) Yazmyn (Bubbles Of Thought)
4) Fai (Tag-One)
5) Adeylah (Ministry Of The Pants)
6) Mell (Mellow Out)

I'm not choosing on a "friends-first" basis. Hahaha. It's basically those blogs I find quite readable and creative.

Okay. Now...

Revelation In Consumption

Lunchtime today, had been a total revelation. It's one of those realisations that had to come, sooner or later. It's an unmistakable feeling of satisfaction, of knowing the value of questioning your own beliefs and then either adapting or strengthening that belief.

I've never really talked about this, but though I'm a vegetarian, I was getting less sure about why I'm still a vegetarian. It used to be very clear to me. Carnivorism was definitely wrong, that was what i felt. I felt very strongly against meat-eating. Simple enough. But recently though I still feel it is wrong, there's no conviction of belief anymore. It's almost something I take for granted. It's like believing that the world is round. It's true, and you don't doubt it, but you're not passionate about the belief.

I've thought long and hard, thinking of ways to affirm my vegetarianism, and I took the most drastic measure. I willed myself to eating chicken.

It was a Zinger Maxx from KFC. My first meat in two years.

And you know what? I didn't feel anything when I ate it. I didn't savour it, I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. Maybe it's what vegetarianism does to you, but eating it felt like eating... Nothing.

I didn't crave it. I never craved it.

I realised that my craving to chicken prior to my vegetarianism was a product of social conditioning, of an environment that worshipped KFC and Nasi Ayam and Butter Milk Chicken. My 'need' for meat was an illusion that I crushed after two years spent avoiding it.

Five minutes after that came the reaffirmation.

I felt physically and emotionally sick. Going up the escalator, the word 'Zinger' conjured images of physical mutilation, forced abnormal growth and overpopulated cages. Okay, maybe KFC Brunei gets its meat from a more ethical source, but still, to me, the concept of consuming another living being that has its own social structure, community and intellectual capabilities, was just sickening.

So the most important thing that has come out from this is that not even deep inside do I crave chicken or beef or lamb. It was a realisation that probably comes once in a lifetime.

It's sickening.

But I can't and will not judge people who does not share the same belief as me. I know that well enough.

Signing out

Over and out

Safe Money

Finally, I've finished my attachment at STPRI. Off to MS. For some nostalgic observational goodness.

Oh, by the way, it was Gaban's (Ajeez) 20th birthday yesterday (26th), and though I didn't get to join the surprise at his house with the others, I certainly enjoyed Excapade. Welcome to Club 20, my friend. Haha.

Of course, after that it was back to work with dear old Chef Wan, giving out flyers, entertaining curious passers-by, and cringing at the repetitive music being played by AV who were just opposite us. I think some of the songs will scar me for life now. I know that, when I forget my name, I'll still be singing 'jangan kau...' Etc.

Salary came out yesterday. Safe innit, blud. Money, money, money. Though I'm not a fan of capitalism, I'm not naive enough to reject it now while it's all-powerful. Haha. Maybe when I'm completely independent. And I mean completely.

Signing out

Over and out

Violent Sadness

A loveless gesture in silent darkness
These cheerless smiles in violent sadness
Blood spilt in acts of faith and madness
The mass hypnotised in mindless allegiance
Faceless, we march on and now we're nameless

Miniscule Expectations

I'm sorry. I think this week is dedicated to the brilliance of The Dark Knight.

I mean, I had high expectations for this film. Really, really high expectations. But those expectations were nothing compared to what Christopher Nolan gave us. He's a visionary. On imdb.com, the wikipedia of film, The Dark Knight ranks #1 above both the Godfather films, The Shawshank Redemption, and all the Lord Of The Ring films. And the difference in overall rating between The Dark Knight and its closest follower, The Godfather, is 0.3. Considering that in the top 250, the difference is only 1.5, then you realise how big a gap that is.

I'm trying to move on from The Dark Knight, but it's hard. Haha. Never has such a film captivated me. The last two were The Pursuit Of Happyness and Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Lord Of The Ring is such an epic trilogy, but I cannot watch it again without thinking how much of it I have left to watch. But with The Dark Knight, even with it's 2 and a half hour running time (which is miniscule compared to Return Of The King's mammoth 4 hours) I feel no hesitation in wanting to watch it again.

I think the only way to get over this is watch another amazing film. My best bet is Wall-E. Apparently Pixar has managed to top their previous animated films like Finding Nemo and Toy Story. People describe Wall-E as a mixture of a romance, comedy and science fiction. And a very good one at that.

It's been a while since I last saw a very good animated film. Ratatouille maybe? Maybe even as far back as The Incredibles.

Signing out

Over and out

Destined In Time

I watched it again. The Dark Knight. And I want to. Again. Third time. I think I need a DVD or an avi file of it soon so I won't be spending too much money on it. I mean $156m on a single weekend is enough for them, right?

So be it. 'We're destined do this forever.'

Signing out

Over and out

Attached In Still Motion

I'm still in the mood to talk about The Dark Knight. Haha. Ha.

Watch it now. That's all I'm going to say about the film today.

Today is the third day of attachment at STPRI. And it's been alright. I'm now known by the little ones (well, not that little) as Mr. Jay. Which has a kind of ring to it. Don't you think?

Yes, most of my batch did do their attachment last year. Yes, yes. I'm late. I know that. I'm doing this because I didn't do any last year, because nobody bothered to reply to my applications and letters. If you're gonna reject me, at least have the courage to e-mail me. Jeez damn it. Only one thing is worse than being rejected, and that is being ignored.

Pill knows that. Haha.

I'm off to school.

Signing out

Over and out

The Killing Joke

This post is a tribute to the excellent actor that is, Heath Ledger.

Before 'The Dark Knight' came out and after Heath Ledger's death, I was afraid that his death would overshadow the film, and it would have an adverse effect on it. But I was wrong. Heath Ledger did dominate the film, but in the most artistically perfect of ways. His portrayal of the Joker is one of the finest examples of villainy and malice manifested into a chaos-obsessive anarchist. Recently I thought Javier Bardem's frighteningly calm Anton Chigurh in 'No Country For Old Men' was the scariest villain I have ever seen. But I was happily proved wrong after Heath Ledger's undoubtedly legendary performance as the Clown Prince of Crime.


Ironically, Heath Ledger's death was partly due to the fact that he took the Joker's character very, very seriously. Such is his commitment, such is his brilliance. Such is his professionalism. It is such a shame to lose a very talented actor, who in his short career has managed to delight (and scare) us in films such as 'Brokeback Mountain' and 'The Dark Knight.'

I recommend 'The Dark Knight.' If there is only one movie you'll see this year, make it this one.

Signing out

Over and out

Twelfth Hour

I'm working again. And all of next week will be filled.


I think it's official. I work now on weekends. Last week was just helping out Fee. Now I'm tied. 12 hours with shifts every day, three days a week. Not bad, but can be extremely boring. Anyone keen to see me, I'll be in front of Guess Kids in the Mall from 10 to 10, Friday to Sunday. Bring some food :P I'll probably be hungry. Heh.

Attachment starts tomorrow. It should be... I don't know. Don't know what to expect, really. Hope it's useful.

How unexciting the Mall is, even with its street dancers, magic tricks and keepy uppies.

Sleep required.

Signing out

Over and out

A Chaotic Affair

Haircut.

I had one yesterday. Sponsored by Fee, Zeerah and Gabs. And it is.. Good. I like it. It's much, oh so much shorter than before. I think Pill is annoyed. Haha.

As with every haircut I go to, the same old joke was made by the people in the salon:

'Aiya. Your hair is so thick la. We charge you triple aah.'

And it's always the same 'your hair is so black. Wow' I think that's a compliment. That means my hair's pigments are healthy. Haha.

Some people tried to bleach my hair. And it didn't even give the slightest effect. That's how strong the black is. Twice to four times a year I get a haircut. Come to think about it, it's pretty rare. What, one every three months?

The Dark Knight is an amazingly epic film. Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, and the rest, they were amazing. Ledger especially. What a Joker. Possibly the scariest villain you'll ever see. Makes the clown from 'It' look like Krusty. Truly psychotic and psychopathic, he is an anarchist without consequences. He is Chaos, the anti-order that hates any attempt to instil a sense of understanding and rule over a chaotic world.

I've never seen such an epic and intense superhero film. It's better than Spider-Man with his inner struggles. The Dark Knight is bigger than Batman himself. I guess it's proper that it doesn't have Batman on the title, because there are so many captivating characters. Harvey Dent, Alfred, Joker, Jim Gordon, Lucius Fox. Possibly the only weak link is the actress playing Rachel. She doesn't have the presence Katie Holmes did in Batman Begins.

I'm up early today.

Signing out

Over and out

Reaching The Maximum

I need a proper laptop to update my blog.

I feel the enthusiasm being squeezed dry, and now...

I have no mood to do this.

At least I met Pill today for the first time in a few days. We had quite a nice time. Even though all we did was report ourselves at MoE (that's Ministry of Education to you) and check if Essensuals had cheaper perms and grab some much-needed lunch.

And oh, I played football in MS again, after a year not playing there. Like always, it was a chaotic yet fun affair. Boon Zhang picked me up from Bandar, and so with about enough players to play a full field on a pitch made for five on five, mayhem ensued.

My fitness(or lack of it) was challenged to the... Urm... Max... Argh. I hate that phrase. To the max?

Signing out

Over and out

Wait For The Call

I'm sure you all miss me, you sad sods.

You miss me, I miss you too. I'm aware that my absence has caused irreparable damage to your blogging routine. I am deeply sorry and regret that this lack of updates will continue.

Muahahahahaha.

You sad sods.

I've been back here for a week now. And on this first week I've been out for quite a bit. First (technically second) day was lunch at Excapade, then Fee's place, then dinner at Capers. Then Friday, beach with Pill's family (which was an interesting experience to say the least. Haha). Then Swensens with Pill (which was cut short, leaving a half eaten pizza). Then helping Fee out with her booth (which took about 20 hours of my precious time. Kidding, Fee).

Then waiting for Pill to get back from Vietnam.

Tomorrow, I think.

20 hours of looking at escalators in the Mall makes me want to point out a few things:

Couples who wear matching patterned t-shirts look like dorks. Even worse, complementary-phrase t-shirts. Example, one shirt says 'We each', the other 'Love other'. Imagine what the two says when standing next to each other.

Hardcore-looking black-clad teenagers with spikes and spikey hair look cute when playing tag all over the Mall.

Ten-year-olds look stupid with eyeliner and look 'eager' with tube tops and short skirts.

Over-elaborate and over-the-top is not a look to be proud about in Brunei. England, yes. The Mall, a big fuck-ass no.

A hundred-percent DVD piracy coverage is impressive. No one can beat us Bruneians when it comes to giving a middle finger to copyright.

Signing out

Over and out

The Divine Comedy

Yes, this is the Milla Jovovich most people know, or 'Alice' in the amazingly woeful 'Resident Evil' series. It is surprising that someone as talented as Milla would stand acting in three incredibly pointless films that add nothing to either the action or horror genre.

Especially when I found this gem of a music album recently:

Okay, so it was released 14 years ago. And not many people know about it. But this folk-rock album from Milla excellently shows her side as a talented musician, as well as a talented actress, model and fashion designer.

Unlike other actors/actresses-turned-musicians, she didn't go for the mainstream option. Instead she went for Ukrainian-folk. And though apparently it didn't go down too well commercially, the critics loved it. And when I first listened to it yesterday, it was understandable. It was rich, poetic. It was beautiful, epic and magnificent. Her voice sounds like a mixture of Bjork and Tori Amos, hauntingly deep and amazing poetry.

So I dug around and found these batch of quotes that describe the album:

"strikingly mature and rich in invention, counterpointing Milla's lovelorn, angst-laced poetry with vivid melodies and arrangements that find a common spirit in synth pop, European folk and psychedelic dream rock"
- The Rolling Stones

"She has an ear for delicate medieval tunes and aching drama that would make Tori Amos envious."
- Entertainment Weekly

"Her songs are tone poems of a sort, inspired by vulnerability and wariness, sung in a small, plaintive, unguarded soprano"
- The Washington Post

"Her songs take form in fairytale poetry, as if she were some medieval storybook princess, held captive against her will in a Dragon's Lair. Authentic Russian acoustic instruments create a soundscape of delicate beauty, ethereal, yet soulful and heartfelt. An original."
- Let It Rock!

'The Divine Comedy' becomes all the more surprising when it is found that she wrote most of it when she was 16. She released this album when she was 18.

This is the first time I saw her:

She was Leelo in 'The Fifth Element,' acting beside Bruce Willis. Anyone remember that film? The film with its colourful costumes and colourful aliens.

I've never really seen Milla as beautiful before. Not in 'The Fifth Element,' not in the 'Resident Evil' series. But after listening to 'The Divine Comedy,' I feel she has captivated me with her heavenly voice. It's incredible.

Either buy her album, or listen to some of the demos she's made available for free on her site, here.

Oh, I love this bit. It's from the song 'Reaching From Nowhere':

"How can I be telling you my thoughts my love
When even I don't know what I'm thinking
How can I explain the way your eyes
Burn into my mind, my love"

Signing out

Over and out

Regretless We Leave

Yesterday's train journey was one of the most emotional train journeys in my two years here. It was my last as a Salopian. Now I'm... Well, the term is Old Salopian...

I had time to contemplate and reminisce my two years in Shrewsbury School and concentrate it into three hours. And after three hours, it all got left in a piece of tissue I left on the table.


Sentiments aside, Shrewsbury is a great school. It's not a purely academic school. It's a very good all-round institution that excels in everything.

Sentiments embraced, the people are welcoming, there are no cliques, and the atmosphere is brilliant. We are as prepared to play as hard - or harder - as we work.

I came to my first and last ever school Chapel service yesterday. Listening to the hymns and the choir, it was different. Sitting underneath the colorful arches that highlight the vibrancy and life of the people under it, I knew this wasn't any school. The experience wasn't at all religious, but something more... I don't know. It just felt... Different.

I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to my year, especially Geo and Clive. We've had some crazy times together. Times I'll miss.

I leave the school, feeling a sense of loss, of knowing that many of my friends I'll never see again. But I know, some of the friendships will last a lifetime. Hate to sound corny, but hey, I can't help myself.

Maybe next time.

Signing out

Over and out

Loot & Conundrums

So Brunei Hall is fucking empty right now. It's feels almost as if it's deserted.

But hey, even with the few left here to wait for their flights home, Brunei Hall is still dear old Brunei Hall. Here's some things that never change:

KITCHEN KONUNDRUM

Some people never clean up after they used the kitchen. It's irritating as hell when I have to scrub for five minutes just to use a pan for two. And then it's fucking irritating when the BH permanent residents blame it on us, the A-Level transit students. I remember last year someone posted a note on the fridge saying that people should clean their own mess in the kitchen, and I quote, 'especially the A-Level students.'

Ex-fucking-cuse me?

Most of the time, the A-Level students I know wash up, and they wash up properly. In fact, for most of us, we're used to it. No, being in a boarding school doesn't mean all our plates are washed for us.

And damn it, people keep stealing other people's food in the fridge. It's bloody annoying. Just now I found that someone stole 3 of my Quorn sausages. I haven't even fucking opened the box yet. In the past people have drank my soya milk, ate my cheese and stole my sausages. Cheap bastards. Even when I'm fucking starving, I've fought off the temptation of stealing other people's food. Even naming your stuff doesn't eliminate the risk of it being stolen.

LAUNDRY LOOT

The laundry room is a battleground. There's only a few who do this, I think, because this happens less than in the kitchen. But some people have moved my laundry out from the tumble dryer while they were still drenching wet, stole washing powder and just throw stuff anywhere just so they can use the machine.

---

But hey, there's a few good stuff. Like the two massive HD televisions. I mean, they're bloody huge.

And oh, it's cheap, obviously. And it's in Central London.

Signing out

Over and out