One Night Solace

"Isn't this what you're looking for?" she asked in what was almost a whisper, almost drowned by the chilly January winds. Her covered hands rubbed against each other as she breathed a white mist into the wintry air.

"Well, yeah... Not quite... I... I don't fucking know!"

I didn't quite know anymore, that was the truth. I thought I had it all figured out. And there I was, with everything I thought I ever wanted, and it still didn't make any sense.

"You know, I thought..."

I paused. It was cold. Too fucking cold for this shit.

"I thought when I get it, when I finally do get it, I'll be happy."

"And are you?"

"Do I look fucking happy to you?"

She looked at me knowingly, and in all her shivering she let out a sad smile, one of irony and realisation.

I don't know why she chose to be here. She didn't have to be here. There we were, in the cold, breathing snow, right outside of one of the biggest parties that year. There I was, in my Popeye costume, as cold as fuck with only a layer on. What the fuck was happening?

"Here, have a puff," she offered.

"I don't smoke."

"Well, tonight you are, friend. Tonight you fucking are."

"Alright. Just this once. And only 'cause I'm freezing my nads off, yeah?"

The party went on without us. The bass thumped, yet we paid no attention. There we were sitting on the pavement, not quite happy, yet in a strange way satisfied, for the night. Holding our cigarettes, we smoked the night away.

**********

These stagnant dreams in violent isolation
I'm reminded of the years gone by
My voice, it screams in joyless fashion
Unable to feel the past in mind
Your poignant pains in suicide silence
Just hear me, I am your solace
For tonight
For as long as I can manage
For I need you
For nothing matters more
Than tonight

Wishful lies in wistful words
Wordless sighs in truthful guise
The wreckage further pains
And this bruise understands
What it takes for one night
To be the ultimate solace
For tonight
For as much as I can manage
For I want you
For nothing matters more
Than tonight

Signing out

Over and out