Oh, bloody hell.
I'm so pissed off right now, I feel like screaming and strangling someone. I'm being serious here. Yesterday wasn't the best of days. Nothing extremely bad happened. I guess it was bound to happen. Gradually, I guess, bottling itself up.
In some respects the past 12 months have been hard, but I soldiered on. I braved on. I showed relatively no anger, no emotion. Nothing compared to how fucked up I sometimes feel. Sometimes when something fucked up happens, I don't evel feel anything, and that failure to emote properly, to manifest my anger, it puzzles me. Sometimes all I want to do is cry, or shout, all in sadness or in anger. But somehow I couldn't. I stop myself short. And I go on with my life.
I don't see anything wrong with showing any emotion, but ironically, I sometimes can't. It's so frustrating at times.
Last night was the one of the few times I showed any anger. Even then it was calculated i.e. I was able to restrain myself. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but there are times I wish I would just explode.
I think all this need for anger, ultimately comes from a need for passion.
I need my pill.
Signing out
Over and out
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